Yesterday, as I sat alone, this question hit me, a question too big and yet confined in a single word, a question of ‘Why?’ I remember the first day of 6th standard. This new subject was introduced to us and how this new sir introduced us to the subject; he wrote ‘WHY?’ in bold on the blackboard and told us that science answers our questions of ‘Why?’, why do we exist? why we see a rainbow?, why do ice takes up more space than water? and all.
Now, my Why(s)? got a little bigger, a little scarier, but most importantly a little of them were left unanswered.
But last night, this question of why(s)? crawl up my sheet like never before. They all were about you, yes you. Why,?, Why me?, Why you had to be this way, always holding back truth? Why did you make me open my doors if you were never intending to step in? I gulp onto water and sigh.
Wide awake at 3 I wondered if your why(s) were same as of mine.
Today, i met him again, my science teacher. I asked him how to get answers of my ‘Why(s)?’. He shushed me, just like old times. He told me that these ‘Why(s)?’ always prevail beneath our skin. They always do. Their answers exist, sometimes they don’t but some of them are best left unanswered.
He reminded me of this old term of chemistry, entropy, he used to explain it to us as ‘Randomness’. He told me in life this entropy keeps on increasing and universe never actually stops expanding, and so does this randomness keeps on increasing but life doesn’t stop. It simply goes on and on and on. You just have to learn that some ‘Why(s)?’ are bigger than other ‘Why(s)?’ After few minutes sir faded away in the crowd, as he vanished, I understood which ‘Why(s)?’ will eventually fade away, which ‘Why(s)?’ I should seek answers for. In that moment, I learned that these questions attached to you, one day, will fade away, like you did.